I'm in the mood to beat a dead horse. It's not something I've touched much in general, but the past couple weeks it has been brought to my attention several times, and I shan't rest lest I say something.
The topic is basically the one that guilts men for liking what they like. DISCLAIMER: Liking something and shaming that which does not fit what is liked is awful. And that is often considered acceptable behavior in our society; just look at everything Lena Dunham. Men and women alike seem to get off on calling her ugly. But, it's not about whether or not your find her attractive; it's about what you do with that opinion. If you don't find her attractive, that should be the end of it. Find someone else that is attractive to you and move on. There is this accepted behavior that men get to think the only things shown are what they find to be sexually appealing, and that is really, really not okay.
But that's not what I want to talk about. What has really puffled my jigglies is that because this is an unfortunate norm, really, genuinely innocent guys get blasted in the crossfire.
But it really grinds my gears that if a guy says he likes a certain type of girl, he's instantly labeled to be an asshole akin to those above, though he's done nothing to hurt anyone.
Example: There's a little card that goes around the interwebs that says "Real men like curves, only dogs like bones." This statement disses both skinny girls and then men who like them. But if this dude just happens to like "bones," is that automatically a diss on all women who are not slight of frame?
And then you've got the other side: You see a skinny guy with a fairly large girl, and the assumption is he's insecure and doesn't think he can do any better, and most likely he resents her.
I'm just tired of hearing about it. Yes, I want to throw a drink in the face of those who think everyone should fit their tiny little ideals. But, I have three wonderful brothers, and it annoys me that there are people who would say that because my brother and his girlfriend workout and she is ripped, he "hates 'real' women" or worse, he emotionally abuses her into working out. She likes working out. He likes how she looks as a result of said working out. It's a perfect combo.
Having an opinion doesn't mean you're hateful or trying to shame people; that's where presentation comes into play.
The other day my boyfriend told me that because of a recent picture of Scarlett Johansson, he doesn't really find her attractive anymore. In this picture she clearly has a little pudging going on in the front, though the derriere is bangin'. He said this while we were talking about the importance of working out and everything, and it wasn't said in such a way as to say ScarJo is gross/disgusting/shame-to-women/a cow; it was just a comment. He likes fit bodies because it represents that the individual takes care of herself. He also said that to me, not as a comment on the picture for the world to see, because the world doesn't need his opinion. And I think these are perfectly acceptable sentiments on his part, though personally I don't share them (she still looks AMAZING). The problem would be if he had to tell the whole world this, and say something negative about her character as a result of his personal bodily preferences. But he didn't do that.
Real men like what they want, and real men know that what they like is not the be-all end-all, and just because something doesn't fit his preferences doesn't mean that thing is wrong or should not be.
Real women don't jump all over the character of men who like something that she is not.
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